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It is after all our own personalities that will make our performances exactly that… ours. Allowing who we are to come out when we are working on the pole, will make a pole dancing experience go from just a good work-out to something so much more… something empowering, something fun and maybe even something enlightening. It can allow a new or long lost part of us come to life. But in this respect, we must be open to letting it. Nonetheless I don’t believe it to be my place to push my own beliefs on others. We strive at PDW to create a comfortable and safe environment for EVERY woman to come and experience the pole in whatever way they desire.

My student clearly thought that pole dancing was pretty or at least had the potential to be, but she had created a very specific vision in her own mind of what that would look like and it did not involve anything that she had deemed risqué. Come to think of it, she was also the only one who did not raise her hand when I asked the class who there had seen an exotic dancer on stage before. If she didn’t have an experiential reference point, how had she formed such a strong opinion? At the same time who was I to question it?

I suggested to this particular student that she study some Youtube videos that combined both pole dancing and ballet for ideas of what she might want her dance to look like. I also encouraged her to keep working on learning the fundamental moves and proper techniques so that she could then put those moves together into whatever form she deemed “pretty.”

Still, the conversation lingered in my mind up until the point of this blog, where I’m sure it will hang out for a while. Here was a young, gorgeous woman who was more than happy to take a pole fitness class, but was totally against some of the very elements that make up a pole dance, at least for someone like me. What to think? The quote “beauty or rather “sexy” is in the eye of the beholder” was more applicable to me than ever at that moment.

I had to remind myself of my commitment to mutual respect for personal outlook as this same student had also signed up for our Chair Dancing class which followed right after our discussion. I could have felt uncomfortable teaching some of the more sultry moves such as the body wave, hip circles or torso isolations, or I could let go of the inhibitions I was feeling at the moment and demonstrate my own level of comfort with my body and lead by example, while not putting pressure on her to do the same. In this way I felt I was respecting her personal comfort level in her body and at the same time staying true to my own.

So I taught my chair dance class in the same way that I always do with an emphasis on torso and hip isolations as a key part of the first minutes in the routine. I think in fact that I might have executed my very best torso and hip circles in that specific class in an effort to showcase that sexy and pretty could be much closer in definition than she had initially thought. In the course of our conversation during the break between classes I had also asked her to feel free to make any suggestions throughout the routine considering her background in gymnastics. To my delight there came a moment when she asked if we could throw in a chest thrust after stepping our legs open. I don’t know if she made the association in her own mind, but I experienced a moment of empowerment and enlightenment of my very own… pretty can be another woman’s sexy. It was a valuable lesson for me as both a teacher and a pole dancer.

What if you don’t know what “your” sexy is? Then what? In the classes and parties that Pole Dancing Winnipeg holds, we have found it an incredibly useful tool to “trace the silhouette” or in other words ask the participants to run their hands over and across the contours of their own body. It is my belief that the women who attend our classes are not only looking for a fun way to get fit and toned but also to explore their own sensuality, and that is why I encourage them to take the first step in becoming more acquainted with themselves and their bodies in this manner. I will also usually comment about how unfortunate it is that touching ourselves can feel so foreign. Shouldn’t we be more familiar with our bodies than anyone else? If this is of particular interest to you please stay tuned here as we delve into this topic in more depth in the weeks to come.

On a closing note this week, I would like to thank two very special women who have illustrated to me just how equally sexy and pretty pole dance can be. They have been with us through Pole Fitness levels one, two and three as well as our Strength and Stretch classes and the way in which they immediately embraced the form of pole dance and the desire to continually improve are what serve as MY inspiration. Melissa, your natural grace and beauty cannot be matched, and your focus on mastering every move as well as dreaming up new ones will take you to amazing heights. ; ) Alberta is lucky to get you! Jessica, your resolve and intensity were highly motivating and sometimes even a little scary! ; ) I know you’ll take your pole with you to Toronto and will continue to surprise even yourself with your strength and determination. Both of your smiles, spirits, and total love of pole dance will be greatly missed every week in class, and we would like as a team to wish you both the best of luck as you take these exciting next steps in your lives!

See you on the pole!

Rhae ; ) xoxo

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We all fall down
Posted: March 1, 2010

I find myself home fresh and relaxed from a wonderful vacation with two of my closest girlfriends to Florida, and with some serious pole work to do!

I’m going to admit that my first few moments back on the pole after an extended period of time away were a little intimidating; despite the fact that the moves I was practicing are the same ones that I’ve not only done, but also taught hundreds of times. I couldn’t decide at first if it was fear or possibly just a loss of muscle mass in the period of ten days which included too much food and way too much wine. ; ) Luckily enough a couple of hours was all I needed for my muscles to remember what it is that they are supposed to do, and by early evening I was back to my favourite inversions and spins and even peeling back a few small calluses on my hands. Gross I know, but if you spend the amount of time that I do with that that kind of constant pressure and friction on your palms and fingers, you’ll quickly realize how necessary it is.

Truth is, falling is one of my greatest fears, right behind birds (don’t ask). I have nightmares about falling frequently, and when visiting amusement parks will happily go on every ride that turns or twists or spins you, but run and hide from the ones that involve dropping or falling. The last time I attempted to “face my fear” was years ago at Valley Fair in Minneapolis. My boyfriend at the time was convinced that by riding the “Drop of Fear” (the same ride as the one at the Red River Ex but at least 3 times taller) was exactly what I needed to do to overcome my fear. This particular ride had the option of either shooting you straight up into the air, or dropping you straight down. To ease me into it, we rode the “Up” side first. It was good, it was fun, I screamed, but ultimately it was ok, so I decided to keep the momentum going and ride the drop. It only took approximately .5 seconds at the top before I started to cry hysterically and sob and beg that I be let down. They let me down alright. I was still crying when they let us off, and more than upset, was shaking to the bone furious. Furious enough to stagger on rubber legs to the nearest park trash can and vomit all the hot dogs and cotton candy that had sustained me throughout the day. The boyfriend I was with, not being smart enough to leave me alone at that exact moment, instead walked up laughing and exclaiming that he was sure from the way that I had been screaming that I had either gotten hurt on the ride somehow or was being murdered on the way down. He spent the rest of the day winning me an 8 foot long stuffed blue dragon that we had to strap to the roof of the car for the ride home. ; )

I’ve always maintained a curiosity regarding the quote “There is nothing to fear but fear itself” - Franklin D. Roosevelt. Even if that fear involves falling from gargantuan heights with nothing but a cheap plastic harness to protect you from plummeting to certain death? Is that my fear of the fear, or is that a realistic cause for concern? When thinking of that quote I also think of another that I once saw on a church billboard that read “If at first you don’t succeed, sky diving is not for you”. Got it. Oddly enough, up until that day at the amusement park I had always been convinced that at some point in time, I would in fact try skydiving. The urge, suffice to say, has since left me. I am quite happy to dangle upside down from a pole instead. Perhaps I am defeating my fear one small inversion at a time.

I recently observed my first pole party from a “fun- structor” point of view in order to become more fully versed in all that our company has to offer, and I thought a great deal about fear, how it affects us and more importantly how we get through it. I watched the women’s faces as they attempted to send their legs up over their heads and saw the uncertainty and doubt written all over them to trust their own strength to support them. Then I got to witness not only the elation when they successfully completed it but the boost their egos received and the rush to try it again. No wonder pole parties are becoming so increasingly popular! You soar through this entire range of emotions and discover so many important qualities about yourself and your abilities. How could you help but have fun?

I went back to my first experience on the pole which was as an attendee of a pole party and saw myself watching this gorgeous woman teach us how to swing and flip around this narrow strip of metal and how easy and graceful she made it seem. Not only did I experience fear and elation, but obviously an instant addiction! To this day whenever I watch a pole dancing competition or even one of my fellow instructors accomplish what seems to be a near impossible move I suffer a brief moment of doubt that I could ever do the same, and then with a little (or a lot) of work and maybe a few bumps and bruises, I do! More importantly I’ve gotten to the point where even though that fear and doubt may never truly leave me, I now possess the confidence in myself to try and try again.

During a recent “Test the waters” class, I attempted to show the class a one-handed fireman and I stumbled. So I got back up, tried it again and perfected it. I was glad that it had happened that way. I believe it to be one of the most valuable lessons that I can offer anyone.

We all fall down. The real courage in facing your fear is what you do when you’re there.

See you on the pole!
Rhae ; ) xoxo

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The Slow Journey to the Pole

"Life should be a journey, not a destination." I'm not sure who said it, or even if she ; ) knew how applicable it is to our daily situations. Including...(drum roll please) Pole Dancing!

It's a quote that I am constantly reminded of while teaching fitness classes, and am reminding students to slooooooow dooooown! After all, half the fun can be in getting to the pole!

We live in a society that is faster paced than ever. We drive fast, we talk fast, we e-mail, we text, we have never ending deadlines, we race to keep up with our children, our partners and our friends and it has become increasingly difficult to even force ourselves to slow down. I myself am a repeat offender to my own rule, and it's become my daily mantra whenever I catch myself to just "enjoy the journey". I used to speed from job to job, fly home, whiz through supper, jump in and out of the shower, and then just collapse. I had gotten to a point where I was racing through the end of my day instead of acknowledging that the day was in fact over, and this was my time for me that I was rushing through. Trust me; running to get to bed does not make for a peaceful sleep! Instead, now when I'm driving in my car, I crank up the radio and enjoy my music, make something really delicious for supper and actually sit down to eat it, and take a bath while reading a book before settling into a happy slumber. I've found a marked difference in not only the quality of my day as well as my work, but also in the relationships with those that I share my day with.

In our fitness classes we're teaching so many new "moves" each week that it can be easy to forget to slow down and enjoy things like the sexy entrance up to the pole or the sexy crawl. We become caught up with the next trick and lose focus on the dance itself as well as all of the subtleties that make it so personal and intimate. Hip circles, torso isolations, body waves, and "making love" to the pole are all a part of the curriculum we teach in the classes, and yet they often get forgotten in the midst of the "fireman", the "back hook spin", or the "firefly". While I can appreciate the determination behind mastering some of these more complex moves, I also want to encourage all of you to really enjoy all of the reasons that you attend these classes. The sensuality as well as the athleticism required. How much more aware of your body you've become as well as the ways that you can move it and the muscles to do so. Let's switch our focus to the journey towards the pole, and even around the pole as opposed to the destination of the next trick.

Slowing down is also detrimental to the workout and stretching portion of our classes. Whatever muscle we're focusing on should be moving through an equal amount of contraction and release. This allows the muscle to not only exhaust itself more quickly, but also assists in full and safe ranges of motion. I've found that many times using a count of 3 for contraction, and a count of 3 for release can be the easiest way to tune into how quickly you should be moving through an exercise. This will also give you plenty of time to think about and break down your breath as it should be properly applied during any kind of resistance training. Exhaling through the mouth while contracting will give that muscle an extra push, and inhaling through the nose while relaxing the muscle provides the necessary oxygen for immediate repair. Muscles can be tricky at the best of times, so if there's been a force applied that it is not easily used to, the best way to release any excess tension is with a nice long stretch. Studies have shown that the optimal period of time for any kind of static (held) stretch is a minute and a half to two minutes. Something to think about the next time you are feeling a little stiff after a good hard work out!

On the fantasy side of all that we do, I always go back to my best friend's husbands reaction as he watched in utter dismay our "kitchen dance". This dance basically involving a lot of booty shaking, fist pumping, head bobbing action. He said to us...in the utmost seriousness, "Girls, no matter what you do while you're dancing, if it's slow, it will be sexy. Slooooooooooooooow." Thank you Martin! I took your words of wisdom straight to heart, and they serve as inspiration in all of my classes. ; )

Until next time Goddesses, enjoy your journey! I will patiently be waiting for you at the destination.

See you on the pole!

Rhae ; )

xoxo